Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
