If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My vagina is officially offended.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
