i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
and you fell through a lawn chair
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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