All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
