Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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