..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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