I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
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There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm gonna cum garlic butter