So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.