did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
