dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap