Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.