don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later