How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
