I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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