Cold hands, warm shart.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
