there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
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Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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