he told me I talked like a deaf person
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
