I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The power of my boobs compel you
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
