Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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