His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
