but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
