Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
