im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
