VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
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cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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