What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
