i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
