32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
