I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
