You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
