if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
