Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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