what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
