Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
