I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
