i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
