you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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