So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
