This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
