four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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