Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
