I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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