she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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