then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
