I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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