You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
