Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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