i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
