U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
