Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
