I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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