I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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