ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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