I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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