Your tits are I can't wait for
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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