Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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