Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
