my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet