I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?