This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?