Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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