This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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