Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
