It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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