apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
