you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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