How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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