I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
