i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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