Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
