I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
