Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
